By Barbara Morris, R.Ph.
Many years ago, a case referred to as Torcaso v. Watkins established that belief in God wasn't necessary for any belief system to qualify as a religion.
I never forgot about the case and also over time, it became clear that in addition to established mainstream religions there was a whole bunch of belief systems, complete with non theistic articles of faith that could easily qualify as religions as established by Torcaso v. Watkins.
For example, certainly one of our most entrenched non-theistic belief systems relates to accepted practices and thinking for those of a certain age. It's what I call the religion of Fogeyism Don't laugh. It is really insidious that many, if not most people at midlife or beyond are practitioners to some degree without realizing it.
Let's have a take {a look at|examine} a {number of the} thou shall and thou shall nots of Fogeyism in addition to my anti-Fogeyism commentary:
• Thou shall take pride in referring to thyself being an old broad or old geezer and associate simply with other old geezers or old broads for thee has found pleasure within the adage that misery loves company. In response to how are you? always reply, Oh, I'm okay for a classic geezer/broad. This establishes thy dedication to Fogeyism.
(You are that which you say you are. I am so bummed out from the old broad and old geezer stuff that I promise to report to Judge Judy (when she are at her crankiest and spewing fire and brimstone), anyone who calls him or herself a classic broad or old geezer. She may sentence you to definitely associate simply with certified old geezers and old broads and I promise, you may regret your choice to adopt this informative article of faith of Fogeyism.)
• Thou shall wear a t-shirt with emblazoned with large bold print that announces, I'm retired and doin' nothin'. It's the official sign that thou art a proud practitioner of Fogeyism.
(Better to wear a t-shirt that says, Yeah, I'm retired but I'm working to make the entire world an improved place.)
• Thou shall proselytize for of the religion of Fogeyism. That means thou shall lead others to become listed on the fold. Thou shall do this by reminding friends and relatives of a certain age which they are getting old and senile. To reinforce thy efforts, thou shall send negative birthday cards to assure them they truly are losing it. Also, thou shall send gifts of Ex-lax and Milk of Magnesia or Geritol to reinforce the intent of thy message. The point is to have as much believers as possible to become listed on thee because there's strength in numbers and remember, misery loves company.
(Please – no more demeaning greeting cards or gifts that remind of advancing age. Instead, send a greeting that tells the recipient how wonderful they are, and do not refer to age. After all, age is merely a number! You will feel wonderful and thus will the recipient.)
• Thou shall engage in negative self-talk that hastens decline and limits thy potential, with comments such as I'm too old to complete that, or I'm too old to understand anything new.
(Again, you are that which you say you are, so be careful how you speak about yourself. If you don't say positive reasons for having yourself who will?)
• Thou shall not (if thou art a mature woman) use a relationship with a male significantly younger than thou art. If thou choose to complete so, thou planning to be|will probably be} marked as a cradle robber and thy hapless mate will become the thing of derision and said to be demand for assistance|short of funds} of a mother. However, if thou art a male and find a decades younger woman dumb enough to endure thy Fogeyism, thou art (wink wink) a lucky duck.
(When will we figure it out? Women live more than men. Women should marry younger men. I've seen lonely, older widowed women go to ridiculous lengths to get the attention of the very most eligible (and that ain't saying much) widower at the senior center. Let's face it, an adult woman is really a great catch for reasons too numerous to mention (and you do do|you are doing} well what} the reasons are, don't you?). Old guys generally usually are not a fantastic catch (and you do do|you are doing} know why they are not, don't you?) It's as fundamental as that. Feel absolve to disagree.)
Okay, Fogeyism is probably not a religion, even a half baked one, however you will have to agree, we live in a society that tolerates, promotes and also celebrates Fogeyism. It's hard to prevent the articles of faith – however you can once you recognize they exist to make you section of the Fogeyism flock. Shun the articles of faith of Fogeyism as you'll the devil! Amen, brothers and sisters?
No comments:
Post a Comment